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Proverbs 9:17-18 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.
"I believed in once saved always saved", says the greedy of heart and sinful "professing Christian". Sin is Death-Darkness- "The wrath of God!"


HOLINESS-PEACE!__If the Son therefore shall make you free {from sin}, ye shall be free indeed. (John 8:36) Then said Jesus to those ...which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, {to be from this worlds lust and love for it} then are ye my disciples indeed; (John 8:31)
For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh: But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God. (Romans 2:28-29) But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. (John 1:12-13)"THE ONLY JEW GOD LOVES"
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Jesus Never Changes Print E-mail


I told them never again...don't ever ask me again. I  understood well later in years, why the reaction that day. One other earlier time dating a girl  in high school even before the service, I went looking for a guy that had said some wrong things (I believed at the time) and went right into a Sunday church service, (knowing he would be there)  and began yelling, at him to come outside. I told the usher when he said something..."I am not talking to you."  Of course, I was, shall I say, escorted out of the place. I ONLY tell you these things now, hope that you can see I was lost and didn't care a thing about this Jesus or anything related with Him, only me. But I was driven, searching for what I needed, but couldn't find it, and that drove me crazy. I wanted peace, but didn't understand it...I needed something...the thoughts...the anger, driving me...I wanted out of this life.


Again, understand I just wanted to share only a bit about me back then and hope you will see, this...>> His love for a person lost who hated even the mention of His name. In all my swearing back then, cussing, I never used His name...Jesus...Deep Inside...not knowing why...I hated Him so much...I was afraid of that Name.


I will get to the main part now as I don't want this to be too long, for readers here. I came home one night late. The place I lived at that time was in the country, remote, quiet, no lights, very dark. I pulled in the driveway under some large oak trees and sat there. The porch light was on, as my wife left it on for me never knowing when, or if I would be home. For some reason I sat there....not understanding why...something felt funny,... different in the yard. My thoughts went back to Vietnam, the same feeling, something wrong, you can't put your finger on it but something here doesn't feel right. I sat for maybe 3 minutes and then got out.


I stood looking across the yard, dark, but I could see forms in the dim light from the moon. Bushes, trees, I stood listening looking. That eerie feeling, like someone is there...watching out of the quiet that night, no wind, no sounds. I began slowly walking toward the porch, watching looking, wishing I had the gun I normally carried with me, something isn't right here.  I remember putting my left foot on the first, of three steps....then I knew why...HE WAS THERE. (as I write this tonight I still remember so vividly, and actually choke and shiver like one out on the ice in winter)...Had you been there you would understand, you would...believe me, you would.  It was like Paul in the book of Acts on the "Road to Damascus" As I stood there on the porch He was there...a foot away.......I can't even put into WORDS what it feels like to be pulled inside out.....actually feeling dirty, filthy, I can't in words tell you here or even in person, that feeling...only to tell you I still shake remembering me facing Him back then in my condition. I remember ramming through the front door, my wife was on the phone talking to her sister (who later came to know the Lord and she remembered very vividly that night). She heard me yelling..."He is out there!!!",  and my wife not knowing what to do stood there, phone in hand. I ran behind the kitchen table trying to hide, almost in a fetal position, against the back wall, feet pulled up...shaking like I had been out in a snow storm for hours. 


Babbling, I couldn't tell her...she said later I kept saying..."HE is here!"..."He is out there!"..."It's Him". then I ran, crawled, to the bed and pulled the covers over my head hoping to get away from it all. I  woke in the morning...still shaken not wanting to talk about it.  HE IS way....can't be...NO!!  My thoughts were going crazy the next morning, but I didn't want to talk about it. I felt ashamed that anything, or anyone could make me react like that.

Another story that happened to me was that my family got me to go to a meeting in Lansing, Michigan the following Spring. I was still running..."don't talk about Him!" I told people...stay away from me about this Jesus, but all the time my head was driving me crazy...Once I got to the meeting I told others, "I won't go are all crazy, a bunch of kooks and whatever you are doing, "QUIT!!!"(their prayers). Realize that at the time I didn't know a thing about the Bible and didn't care and actually told people all the time that a bunch of Jewish homosexual winos wrote the thing. I finally went inside the meeting in Lansing after much coercion from the family.